"hold the eulogies..."

yeah, i don't blame you, teddy...it must be hard listening to all those gilded accolades knowing that at any moment mary jo's folks might show up to offer their version of your uh...heroism.

besides, there'll be a nice "eulogy" waiting for you in the hereafter; of course it'll probably be more like a "roast"...heh.

oh, and have a real happy 77th birthday today...ms. kopechne would have been 69 come july, but thanks to you she was granted the wistful wish of so many; to be forever 29...i guess folks should be careful of what they wish for, eh? but i can't help but wonder, as all your friends and comrades sing your praises, what would have been the life story of the only child of joseph and gwen kopechne if, you know, you had been man enough to try to save her and not just your sorry, sorry self?

politics is politics; a man can choose to be an admirer and disciple of jefferson or lenin, but you're either a man or you're not. you? not. you were and are a heartless, spineless, cowardly bastard...but then you know that, don't you, teddy?

jtc

djia -1000 in 10 days...

are you stimulated yet?

jtc

that's the way ya do it, see? just pucker up and...

like i said, this old girl (and bo himself of course), are gonna ride this thing all the way home!

it's easy! just go to a bo revival, keep your hand in the air, cry when he calls on you, and swoon when he lays hands (and lips!) on you...and all your dreams come true. man, he's potentate, messiah, and the wiz all rolled up in one big tootsie roll wrapper!

jtc

hell, turns out i was the one doing it all wrong...

well, sonuvabitch! if i'da known this i never would have used up my cash to pay off the mortgage on my florida house and a make big down payment on the mountain place so as to, you know, prevent foreclosure!

who knew the cool thing to do was borrow 110% of value (which equates to more like 150% of value now), and agree to a mortgage that "resets" to a rate and payment equal to more than i made per month?

my question now is, when do i need to stop making payments to time it just right so that father "o" will pay off the balance for me? gosh, he's a lot wealthier and more generous than i would have thought a career lowlevel politician and "organizer" could be...what a guy!

jtc

ya'll are doing it wrong!

tam has a post hilariously mocking some pathetic sheeple...i mean people...who just can't go on living 'cause they can't get barryo to give 'em the time of day...but they need to watch how one old florida girl did it...change your strategy, ya'll! let bo get some airtime out of the deal and it'll all be okay...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

those folks are just going about it all wrong...just caught the local teevee news wherein the focus was on bo making an appearance in the fort myers, fl neighborhood called lehigh acres, about an hour from us here in sebring.

lehigh got some national focus because it's a vast lowland (swamp) area that was semi-developed during the sixties fla land boom but sat dormant until the recent fever that swept the nation had thousands of houses being built for folks with no money and no job; and surprise, now a shitload of them are in foreclosure...so a great venue for the one to get some airtime for himself.

and to really capitalize on the limelight, ol' barry went around the room calling on some folks to relate their tales of woe, saving one old girl for last who said she was homeless, but "we need more than just a park to pitch a tent in, we need our own kitchens and our own bedrooms in our own homes" (no mention of how she planned to pay for it, but it was pretty obvious that she thought bo should just "provide" it).

so, anyway, she finishes her whiney spiel, and he ends his little meeting by going out to her in the crowd, hugging her, and telling her "we're going to see what we can do for you". ain't he just the sweetest angelic thang?

as the news story closed, the reporter said after the cameras were off and barry had gotten his exposure, the lady was crowded with people falling all over themselves to find out how they can "help" her.

so those worshippers you linked to just need to take her as a guide; wait for the cameras, hold up your hand for an hour or so, and cry on cue...that's how to get barry to lay hands on 'em, and get some great freebies to boot.

now the national news is coming on, using a snip of this same meeting in their preview...let's watch and see their take. this old girl (and bo himself of course), are gonna ride this thing all the way home!

jtc

BREAKING NEWS:

Obama administration says it will cancel 77 drilling leases near Utah parks...

well, it might be news to some, but it sure ain't no surprise. 'cause how in the hell are we gonna get people to support wind-up cars, windmills, and zee greeen technology with two dollah gas?

gotta cancel drilling and kill exploration (especially in alaska where it'll piss off the governor there) so we can jack up that oil price and justify all of our admirable causes, yes?

bonus! robert redford offers his expert opinion...snicker.

jtc

R.I.P.

Challenger and her precious cargo...

pic from tam's

jtc

rule five: "you can't fix stupid"*

when four rules just ain't enough...

how can you be this dumb and still make it through eight frickin' decades? why tempt fate? leave the firearms alone...even when they're "not loaded".

jtc

*apologies to ron white.

looking forward with "hope"...

anybody who's ever even casually glanced at this blog knows that the "o" was not my first choice to be the new elected leader of the free world...in fact in my view he ranks near, if not at, the very bottom of the very long list of erstwhile candidates.

that being said, he is indeed the new elected leader of the free world, meaning he is my president too. and once i am able to stifle the autoresponse of regurgitation that is the normal reaction to being forcefed something extremely unpalatable, i'm going to do my best to support him and his policies as they relate to our relationship with the rest of the world...because we are all Americans, and united we stand.

but i do fervently hope, and even somewhat believe, that the realities of the office and the world will bring a necessary and cautious deliberation to the euphoric mantra and mission of "change" that was the centerpiece of his campaign. indeed, that has already begun, as witnessed by the recent disclaimers as to the difficult road ahead and the need for patience and controlled "expectations" as we move forward into the new reality, here in the brave new world.

congratulations, Mr. President, may God bless you, your administration, and most especially, the United States of America.

jtc

in honor of dr. king...

i'm not a fan of mlk day being a national holiday. it devalues the honor that is implied by setting aside such a day to honor and observe far more significant milestones in our history...

but i'll say this: listening to his speeches now, with the retrospect and maturity gained as this country worked through the turmoil and did the right thing in respecting the rights of all citizens, makes me realize that this peaceable man was far more deserving of the honor of being the first black man to hold our highest office than the "one" who will be crowned tomorrow.

not that either of them possess(ed) the experience and capabilities required to be the leader of the free world...just that of the two, mlk would be far and away the better, less divisive, and probably far more effective choice.

r.i.p., martin luther king jr....let's hope your vision and methods will live within the hearts and minds of those who follow.

jtc

support greenpeace...

make that green piece

a little sad...but funny!

via xavier.

jtc

on a side note...

i turned comments back on this a.m.; i turned 'em off a month ago when a cautionary (okay maybe it was a little dickish) comment i made at the breda fallacy turned into an allout (but fun!) internecine 100-comment flamewar with the defenders of her honor, some of which accused me of trying to drive comments to my own blog...and since i don't give a shit about that stuff, i turned 'em off...but now they're back on, so if you feel the urge to say something pithy, or pissy for that matter, go for it.

jtc

"ya followin' me, camera guy?"

i can see it now, that annoying twerp on the shamwow ads doing his schtick for the brand-new, brought to you by the letters g-o-v and d-u-m-b doing a hustle for a twofer...

turn in that old gas-guzzler now and get $4500 of otherpeoplesmoney! throw an old gun or two in the trunk and we'll double it! but hurry, 'cause we can't do this all day!

man, i can see the twinkle in the eyes of all the buyherepayhere used car dealers as they contemplate emptying out that back lot full of $200 clunkers at four and a half large apiece...kinda like i had in mine when a nearby county did $150 wallyworld vouchers for anything even resembling a firearm no questions asked. that box full of junk that i thought i wouldn't sell to my worst enemy? well, i was wrong, and i did. then i bought four brand-new 10/22's at sam's place for about what they cost me wholesale.

hmm, i need to buddy up with old fred down at the scrap yard; those dinosaurs that come chugging in that he pays a few hun for, i'm gonna offer hime five each for all he can get for me.

man, who the fuck is running this monkeyhouse anyway?

jtc

the pop culture prez...

well, there you have it, finally an honest explanation of why a person with no experience or credibility at all will in two days ascend to the highest office in the world...hollywood said it could and should be, the media said "hell, yeah", and the sheeple said "duh, okay".

jtc

back in fla...

quickie trip up to north ga. to check on things and make a deal with the realty agent to lease-purchase my son's house for herself with a side deal to sell our own place that is close by with the fee for that and some handyman work by her husband to count as their down payment to buy the son's place...clear as mud, right?

a little complicated and "creative", but a win-win if it works out okay, and right now who the hell needs three houses? so eleven hours going up due to lousy traffic, and nine hours coming back four days later pulling a trailer full of stuff wifey wanted from the georgia place...not much fun, but overall a pretty productive trip.

sometimes, you just do what you gotta do...

jtc

there but for the Grace of God, go i...

the nature of my business for thirty years gave me a better than even chance of facing the same situation that this gentle man did...i am thankful every day that i did not. but if i had, or if i ever do, i could only ask and hope that i handle it and deal with it as well as he did. may God have mercy on his conscience, on the souls of the two dead men, and on the hearts of their loved ones.

jtc

get it while the gettin's good!

just a few miles up i-575 from our north georgia place is the little town of jasper...now jasper is a nice small town with some good history...civil war stuff, the nelson rifle was made nearby, and the marble quarries produce the bulk of marble used in the country...including almost all of the monuments at arlington. but jasper still doesn't have a wal-mart, thank goodness, there are still a few bastions of innocence left (of course there is one within twenty miles both north and south). and there has been growth...especially new neighborhoods full of commuters that work in atl, and commercial growth along 575 (actually it's 515 since 575 ends right about at our place and becomes sr 515 aka sonny perdue parkway...).

and included in that growth is a place called the bargain barn. now the bargain barn has a long history here, but they took the leap and built a new place on the highway after a big fire wiped out the old one. and this place is big...as big as a football field on the ground floor and another football field on the second floor. if you want outdoor sports stuff, forget dick's or bass pro or gander or anyplace else, because the bargain barn has 'em beat. every outdoor garment there is, every boot and shoe, an archery department that includes the most bows i've ever seen in one place, along with all the accessories and guys and gals who know their shit selling them. fishing stuff? aisles and aisles of it. the biggest case knife department you can imagine, like a self contained case store...and other top blades as well. ah, then we work our way upstairs to the hunting and gun departments. a whole area of tree stands fully assembled for tryout, gun safes of every brand, size, and weight. an "optics" department second to none including every leupold made, and dummy guns to try them out on.

and then the guns...ah, yes. five full time guys working the counters. every browning rifle and shotgun is in stock. racks of remingtons, berettas, rugers, and stacks of backstock in view in the back room. ten cases of handguns, though the counter guy told me their inventory level is the lowest he's seen it in the ten years he's worked there, they're still loaded with glocks, springfields, kimber, naa, taurus, charter, and the best stock i've recently seen of smith and wesson, including most of the j's. and they haven't inflated their prices to take advantage of the obama sales boom. standard glock models for 499, naa's for 200, charters for 200, even the smiths were low compared to anywhere i've seen recently. and they were running a sale, 5% off on all guns, 10% on ammo and gear.
and busy? if there's a recession it ain't here...the parking lot holds 200 and i had a hard time finding a spot. let's hope these guys can keep getting inventory because they do as good a job as any place i've seen of stocking it, displaying it, demo'ing it, with personable, knowledgable people selling it. bravo, bargain barn!

i didn't buy anything but i sure had a fun hour there. then when i left i pulled into the waffle house for a bite of lunch; it's next door to a race trac c-store that usually has the cheapest gas around here...and i couldn't believe the sign...1.259 for regular, haven't seen that in a long damn time. reg. was 1.65 when i left sebring, fl yesterday, and i saw it for 1.49 on the highway inside ga. where the tax is lower, but a buck and a quarter? lady at the waffle house counter said they had a real old-fashioned gas war going in town; a new chain store opened up the road and they're fighting it out on gas and 12-packs of cokes...two for four fifty...that's less than nineteens cents apiece.

i wonder what the law is about loading up a truck with barrels full of gasoline and taking it back to fla? no, i wouldn't do it but it's tempting, 'cause you know that shit ain't gonna last. now if this would've happened in the summer, i could have pulled the motorhome out of mothballs and took that alaska trip i've been putting off. it holds 65 gallons and gets about 8 mpg...a little oppressive at four bucks a gallon and you're spending $250 every 500 miles for gas alone. but of course that was the plan, wasn't it? just wait for june, cheap gas will just be a memory, but it's fun while it lasts.

jtc

six days on the road but i'ma gonna make it home tonight...

well, it was eleven hours, not six days. but for the trip from sebring fl to north ga that usually takes me eight hours when i'm flyin' low and catchin' the breaks, it sure as hell seemed like days.

i had to come up to meet the realtor who has my son's house listed for sale and hasn't sold it, but now she wants the place for herself if i'll finance it or do a lease option...i'm trying to come up with a plan that will be win-win for that. so anyway, i thought by leaving fla today instead of on the weekend i would miss the traffic headed back nawth after the holidays, and i figured there'd be a lot more southbound than north; we've already got most of the q-tip population from ohio, mich, and indy in central fla. but instead, the northbound fla turnpike and long stretches of i-75 were multi-lane parking lots moving like molasses while south flowed free as water. and pulling my trailer so's i can take some stuff back to wifey from the other house up here kept me about ten mph under the norm when traffic did open up a bit.

anyway, i finally made it in one piece, and the plan is to make a deal with the realtor to do some spruce-up work on this house and have her act as seller's agent with the fees to apply to a down payment for her to buy my son's place...it's a good deal for her since she won't have to come up with cash, and if it means both places get sold it'll save me a ton of outgo for two houses that we don't use now that my son has moved back to fla...like i said, win-win if it works out, we'll see.

i shouldn't bitch about the trip i guess...i left seventy five degrees and it's only in the forties here, whereas tam is headed from the thirties into the teens and possible ice in her little rear wheel drive krauterskate; at least maybe her traffic will be lighter than mine was...anyway, eleven hours on the road is rough on an old fart, so it's off to bed.

jtc

here's to a fine '09...

well, they dropped the ball in nyc, the neighbors scared the shit out of the dogs with fireworks, and i kissed and made a toast with my sweetie at the stroke of midnight to welcome a new year and say goodbye and good riddance to the old one.

i've heard people say the next year couldn't be any worse than the last one, but all we have to do is look around the world to realize that in spite of a grinding war, financial meltdown, political polarity, and all manner of crises, we've still got it better than everybody else in the world, and most important, we have the ability to determine for ourselves whether '09 will be better than '08.

and my only resolution (i gave up on getting prettier, younger, or thinner years ago) is to do my best for me and mine to make it so; here's wishing all the best for all of you as well.

jtc

the "o" fficial cola of hopeychangey?

via instapundit...is it copyright infringement? marketing savvy? or just coincidence?

well, my money is on the marketing; but who's really copying who? the boys at pepsi are no doubt trying to hook their wagon to the new superstar...for one thing, there's a big new chicago headquarters and it stands to reason they would try to make the tie-in to the hometown boy. but pepsi's slogans have for decades tried to appeal to the new, young generation. and the old pepsi logo looks eerily similar and could just as well have inspired the hopeychangey "o". well, regardless of who's ripping off who...it's one more reason for me to dislike that syrupy-sweet, flat-tasting imitation coca cola.

because it wouldn't be the first time that pepsi embraced exclusionary elitism to promote their brand. years ago i read the story of the corporate recruiters who come to college campuses to try to attract fresh meat into the company fold. and one of the main selling points of the pepsi people was to disparage coca cola as being old and stupid and slow...because you know, they're (shudder) a southern company based in atlanta. now pepsi on the other hand, they said, is based in hip and cosmopolitan new york...way cooler, way smarter, and so much more with it than those clingy, ignernt, porch-sittin' southern folk.

yeah, it does sound familiar...and looks familiar too. fuck pepsi, and the "o", and the logo they rode in on. i'm gonna go get me a coke.

jtc